Janelle’s Lessons From the Mother Ship

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I’ll be honest; I hate filtering. I hate that there is so much crap my kids can be exposed to that I HAVE to filter, 24/7 on every single form of media just to make sure we stay within the realm of age-appropriate content. It’s frustrating. Exhausting. It’s flat out annoying. It’s annoying for ANY parent, but I think it’s especially so for a geek mom. Even more so when you are fairly conservative in your line of thinking when it comes to what you will allow your children to experience. When you are adamant about timing of exposure to certain stories, behaviors and experiences, it can make momming pretty challenging when all you really want to do is immerse yourself, and your family, deep within the four color well of never ending awesome. Now, I know plenty of geek moms who don’t think twice about it, let their kids watch whatever and their children are perfectly well behaved, well adjusted humans with good attitudes, so what am I so worried about??

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Lately, we’ve seen a lot of junk on TV and in the movies which are targeted toward children. I’m not talking about movies like Deadpool and Logan – THOSE ARE NOT KID’S MOVIES. They aren’t supposed to be nice. I’m talking about rated PG and G movies, animated, cute-looking, seems nice on the surface movies that turn out to be horrible. There’s a whole bunch of “please never do this in real life” kind of nonsense that, after a while, is just exhausting. From YouTube gameplay that you THINK will be appropriate for children only to find out it’s a bunch of fart jokes and bad attitude that NO ONE wants their kid repeating (I’m looking at you, FGTV), to crap that is down right terrible and doesn’t even attempt to hide it, (reference: “The Day My Butt Went Psycho”) the stupid is literally everywhere.

It’s surrounding our children 24/7 like a giant, jungle snake with hypnotic eyes lulling our children with the soft words, “trust in me”. If you don’t have time to sit there and watch these shows with your kids to filter, chances are the bad behavior they get in trouble for is coming from these shows. It can get incredibly frustrating for parents and I tell ya, the world of media certainly doesn’t make it easy. Before you know it, you’ve turned into your parents – shielding the kid’s eyes and muting scenes in movies that were supposed to be for kids!

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*This post is full of Star Wars spoilers for everything from Episode 1 thru The Force Awakens.

The time comes in every child’s life when they are officially initiated into the world of Star Wars. For some it’s as early as birth but for others, like in our family.. you must be ready to receive and ask for it of your own free will. Until then, the truth is shrouded in secrecy.

If you know anything about me, you know I am a fierce protector of storyline when it comes to any film or book series. Maintaining that secrecy for those who have not seen/read them yet is important to me, especially when it comes to my children and Star Wars. It becomes a secret much like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy – something you keep safe until the time is right.

Some of you may remember the decision we made to hold off on allowing our children to see any of the Star Wars stories/cartoons or short films that gave away those secrets out of context. You may also remember last January when we unknowingly walked into a 20 minute show that gave away every secret of the entire series and I was LIIIIVVVVIIID because there was zero signage to warn people. You can read about that here if you want.

Well, we’ve moved forward and now is the time.

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents on our final day!

For 30 days, we have been covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom and today is the day! It’s All Hallow’s Eve, day 31, and our final installment of this series.

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Have you ever thought, “huh.. that looks dangerous” while walking by something precariously placed on a shelf? Have you said to yourself, “self, if I put this here, someone will probably come around and knock it down and they could totally kill themselves”? If you are a parent, have you ever thought… “I need to baby proof this whole room before the baby starts crawling” because you suddenly see all the things that a baby can be hurt with standing out like glowing items of requirement? Have you covered up outlets and corners, installed baby gates and bolted furniture to the wall once baby becomes mobile? If you’ve answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, you will understand why today’s movie has earned its place as the #1 movie anxious parents should probably never see.

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits. If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window. Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents on day 29!

As you know, we have been covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom.

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Today’s movie is a series, a remake and a video game of glorious terror and deliciously frightening images that no only don’t leave you right away, but love to return just when it’s the least convenient.

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits. If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window. Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents on day 28!

As you know, we have been covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom.

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Today’s film, another zombie flick, is important to the cannon for zombie lovers for the same reason it’s on my list. It answers to the long-asked question; What happens when a pregnant woman is bit at full term?

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits. If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window. Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents and we are SO CLOSE to the end!

As you know, we have been covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom.

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We are now down into our final, top five films I would NEVER recommend to a parent with anxiety.  These last five have affected my parenting practices in ways I never even realized.  Some I’ve never even seen becuase I just always knew better.   Watching them to write this series has taken many, many hours with breaks of Disney movies and other things to take my mind off of them and I’m still deeply impacted by them.  The one today is part of an elite list of films I actually refused to watch but because of this list, I had to do it.

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits.  If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window.  Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Today’s movie comes on the eve of the beginning of the top five movies that scare me most as a mother. This iconic film is the one that started it all for me, on a quiet farm in Pennsylvania…

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits.  If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window.  Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents!  Today is day twenty FIVE!  Only SIX days left till Halloween!  Are you excited yet???

Each day, we are covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom.

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Today’s movie brings back a film most of us saw when we were young enough to identify with the daughter. Now, watching it and identifying with the mother, I look at “white noise” on the TV in a whole new way…

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits.  If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window.  Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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Welcome to our countdown to the most anxiety-inducing horror films for parents!  Today is day twenty four!

Each day, we are covering the films I both love and hate because they’re awesome and they give me panic attacks now that I’m a mom.

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Can you believe we are already on #8?  Today’s movie could be a terrifying ghost story, depending upon your perspective…

Disclaimer: Trigger warnings are a given when you talk about horror, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Many subjects covered by horror films are disturbing to parents in ways we can’t possibly understand and each is unique to the parent and his/her experiences. Tread carefully and know your limits.  If this begins to be too much, there’s no shame in closing the window.  Also, this post contains some spoilers throughout. 

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