{"id":11893,"date":"2015-08-20T11:12:10","date_gmt":"2015-08-20T18:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/?p=11893"},"modified":"2015-08-20T13:58:39","modified_gmt":"2015-08-20T20:58:39","slug":"how-many-experience-points-for-existential-dread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/how-many-experience-points-for-existential-dread\/","title":{"rendered":"How many experience points for existential dread?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It was summer break, 1988 Hesperia California. I was 16 years old. We had just returned to my friend Jason\u2019s house from the mall after purchasing the brand new Metallica album, \u201c\u2026And Justice for All\u201d. Listening to the cassette in his room and analyzing the finer points of their discography, the conversation turned to the \u201cRide the Lightning\u201d album, and an epic instrumental track, “The Call of Ktulu”.<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t given the song in question much thought, it was a sweeping orchestration piece that held little to interest the mind of an average 16 year old metal fan. But that\u2019s when Jason told me something that I didn\u2019t know, something that would literally change my life in a very dramatic way from that moment forward.<\/p>\n

It was based on a book.<\/p>\n

I was already an avid reader of horror, sci-fi and fantasy by that time, yet somehow I\u2019d not yet come across this odd pulp writer from the 1920\u2019s and 30\u2019s who, as it turns out was a profound influence on many of my favorite authors of the time. Jason reached over to his bookshelf and pulled from a stack of King paperbacks, Fangoria magazines and comic books, a beat up paperback book with a collection of H.P. Lovecraft<\/a> stories.<\/p>\n

The cover art was a collage of skulls and horror scenery, and obviously the reason Jason had bought it in the first place. The audacious title was the second thing that caught my eye, \u201cThe Best of H.P. Lovecraft: Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre\u201d<\/a>. I was sold. While we listened to the rest of the album I found the shortest story on the table of contents \u201cthe Outsider\u201d<\/a>, and read it straight through. I asked Jason if I could borrow the book and then quickly headed home.<\/p>\n

That night I devoured the book from cover to cover. Tales of genealogical horrors like \u201cthe Rats in the Walls\u201d or \u201cthe Shadow Over Innsmouth\u201d, the intergalactic nightmare of \u201cthe Colour Out of Space\u201d and the epic nautical occult mystery that inspired Cliff Burton and Kirk Hammett. Dreams of tentacles and forbidden knowledge haunted my sleep for weeks.<\/p>\n

\"cthulhu<\/a>\u00a0 Some time later, after making a point to acquire any Lovecraft writings I could my hands on, I had the opportunity to visit\u00a0some old friends in Rialto. These had been my regular gaming friends who\u2019d explored realms of Sci Fi and Fantasy with me for years, some of whom had considerably more resources and access to RPG game stores than I.<\/p>\n

I mentioned my new find with the excitement of an explorer describing some terra incognito. Imagine my dismay to find that I was apparently the only person on the planet that hadn\u2019t already heard of Lovecraft. I was also informed that there was an RPG based on his works, and they handed me the brand new 4th<\/sup> edition Call of Cthulhu<\/a> role playing game by Chaosium<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I asked if they had played it yet, and they explained that they hadn\u2019t yet because no one wanted to run it for various reasons. I was also told all the rumors they\u2019d heard about the game, and the assumptions they\u2019d made based on quick readings of the rules book. \u201cThere\u2019s no point\u201d they said. \u201cYour character just ends up insane or dead\u201d they complained. \u201cYou can\u2019t possibly ever defeat the \u2018gods\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

Just like real life<\/p>\n

See, the thing we were missing was, the game perfectly captured the very nature of the source material. The universe is a vast and uncaring void, and your presence, or lack there of, is entirely inconsequential. This obviously didn\u2019t appeal as a roleplaying game to us at the time, because, well, we\u2019d been \"H._P._Lovecraft,_June_1934\"running around fantasy lands killing beasts and acquiring gold for so long that we could imagine any other way to do it.
\nI eventually volunteered to run it and it quickly became my favorite game. I ran Call of Cthulhu for anyone I could get to sit still long enough. In fact in all this time I\u2019ve only actually played this game a handful of times as a result.<\/p>\n

27 years later, on Howard Phillips Lovecraft’s 125th birthday and I have a bookshelf full of horror novels by Lovecraft and his devotees like Lumley and Bloch, Call of Cthulhu game supplements from victorian era to modern day government conspiracy versions of the game and a tattoo of the great old one Cthulhu\u2019s tentacled visage, stretching the length of my entire left arm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was summer break, 1988 Hesperia California. I was 16 years old. We had just returned to my friend Jason\u2019s house from the mall after purchasing the brand new Metallica album, \u201c\u2026And Justice for All\u201d. Listening to the cassette in his room and analyzing the finer points of their discography, the conversation turned to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":279,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[4,164],"tags":[179,255,251,256,253,252,254,167],"class_list":["post-11893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-and-reviews","category-lamentations-of-the-grognard","tag-call-of-cthulhu","tag-cosmicism","tag-cthulhu","tag-existential-dread","tag-grognard","tag-lovecraft","tag-metallica","tag-rpg"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1opIU-35P","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14967,"url":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/free-rpg-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":11893,"position":0},"title":"They May Take Our Lives, But They’ll Never Take Our Free RPG Day!!","author":"Jason","date":"June 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Free RPG day is upon us, and once again, like the kid who's family doesn't celebrate Christmas, I'm left empty handed and\u00a0wondering what all the hype is about. 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His mace does only 1D6 points of damage, but if he can kill these kobolds, hopefully the other boys, some of them in high school, will invite him back to play next week. 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All of this and more, on episode #152.","rel":"","context":"In "AJ's Side Panel"","block_context":{"text":"AJ's Side Panel","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/category\/blog-and-reviews\/ajs-side-panel\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"PanelCastIconNew","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/PanelCastIconNew-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14231,"url":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/episode-166\/","url_meta":{"origin":11893,"position":3},"title":"Episode #166","author":"Forbidden Panel","date":"December 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"In this episode we review Westworld, HBO's newest foray into a scripted show. Standing in for Anthony this week is special guest Jason Graham. All of this plus the news!! Here are the links that Jason mentioned during the show. 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The comic pamphlets were known as Chick Tracts and covered\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lamentations of the Grognard"","block_context":{"text":"Lamentations of the Grognard","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/category\/blog-and-reviews\/lamentations-of-the-grognard\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"comiccover1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/comiccover1-300x165.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12294,"url":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/grognards-gift-guide\/","url_meta":{"origin":11893,"position":5},"title":"Grognards Gift Guide","author":"Jason","date":"November 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's that time of year, and odds are you're thinking about gifts. Either gifts to buy\u00a0for that special geek in your life or you're rounding off that wish list for the fat guy with the beard. Either way, I've got the perfect collection of high end gaming accessories for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lamentations of the Grognard"","block_context":{"text":"Lamentations of the Grognard","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/category\/blog-and-reviews\/lamentations-of-the-grognard\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"https:\/\/www.etsy.com\/listing\/94957385\/dice-lamps-with-metal-base?ref=shop_home_active_9","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/il_570xN.821876825_t0rh.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/279"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11893"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11898,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11893\/revisions\/11898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}