{"id":18548,"date":"2024-11-16T10:05:37","date_gmt":"2024-11-16T18:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/?p=18548"},"modified":"2024-11-16T10:06:48","modified_gmt":"2024-11-16T18:06:48","slug":"lower-cosmos-ronnies-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/lower-cosmos-ronnies-goodbye\/","title":{"rendered":"Lower CoSMOS-Ronnie’s Goodbye"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Licensed through Evanto<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Dear Diary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I am not one for expletives. One for reflection, yes. But those words bring me down. Fine for some, and I may not believe in an afterlife or God or anything metaphysical excluding the smallest of atoms and molecules. But…and, Mother I am sorry for this, f–k this place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ronnie stopped his writing and held his notebook open. He turned his head and peered around his room. Posters of movies, video games, and music bands from generations past lined the walls. He was seventeen at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cIs that it?\u201d said Ronnie, and continued writing in dissatisfaction:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes. This place. The whole earth. See, the time we are in Mom, is one where all people will eventually turn on each other if you don\u2019t agree with them. I can\u2019t do that. I could never do that because they have never agreed with me and then when I agree with them, the next day they would have me as their punching bag. No more! If you add in all the times someone used the N-word on me or called me black Poindexter, of the double N-word, well, it gives me the drive and impetus to leave this worthless yet beautiful world to itself. Will I miss you? Yes! When you consistently battered me from behind the back of the head for not listening or doing something you didn\u2019t like, thankfully not inflicting permanent brain damage, I still loved you. I can\u2019t do this earth thing anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He then signed it and stood up from his desk. Near the front of his room were red taped arrows, pointing to the center of an empty area of the carpet. With the notebook in hand, Ronnie walked over but his Mother swung the door open. After a good look around, she stared at the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs that devil sh-t?\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cNo, mom. People are Satan. We\u2019ve discussed this in relation to…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201c…Well, pull it up when you\u2019re done praying to him,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cI am not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cImma head out of here and want the toilet done,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cGot it,\u201d Ronnie said and started his way back to his desk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cCome on now,\u201d Ronnie\u2019s mother put her face out and pointed at her cheek. He turned to her as she held herself out for him to kiss. He began to sob.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            She opened her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWhat happened, baby? School?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAlways,\u201d said Ronnie, \u201cBut no, not this time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWe can talk about this later, baby. Don\u2019t forget the toilet. Uncle Willie is coming tonight for dinner,\u201d she said and exited the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cDamn it,\u201d Ronnie said and walked back to his notebook, opened it up and wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 P.S. I meant to kiss you when you left, but I thought about missing you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            He closed the book again and placed it in the middle of the arrows on the carpet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 His clean backyard lost some of its space to Ronnie\u2019s spacecraft; an experiment he needed approval for from the city but allowed because of the young man\u2019s notoriety as a genius albeit with some prejudice. The round craft held one passenger but took up half the yard. Already a shoo-in to win the grand prize at this year\u2019s senior science fair, Ronnie could not care less about the accolade or his paid scholarship to MIT. He stood next to the craft with painted black streaks around the front of it as if a pair of eyes stared at you from the front, and the name \u2018Siouxsie\u2019 written on the side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cHere\u2019s to our freedom, ice queen,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Entering the ship stuffed with supplies, it almost did not have room for Ronnie to sit. As he rummaged through everything, accounted for, and tagged; he found his chair covered up with a zoo blanket with the shiny smooth orange trim coming off. It began unthreading in parts. He sat down and stared inside the cockpit of the craft. Though the cockpit was at the center, it remained the main controls situated around the chair. He flipped a switch powering up the inside of the ship, lights blinking and adhering to the sequence of operations as it came to life. Various sounds and gears started and the door entering sealed itself from the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Grabbing his treasured \u2018Brown Hornet\u2019 backpack, he pushed it close to his chest and whimpered until it became a steady sob and then outright uncontrolled wailing. It took him five to ten minutes of release to quell the constant tears, and nothing was available for him to wipe his nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cOh. We. Can go. We can go, my ice queen,\u201d said Ronnie, \u201cHere we go!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ronnie pressed another button and began another sequence at the control consoles, the final one blasted loud music so deafening that it came close to puncturing his eardrums. Unable to find the volume, Ronnie covered his ears but not before some of the chimes of music and the lyrics left the confines of the vessel. The haunting voice sang:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cIt glittered and it gleamed for the arriving beauty queen. A ring for a car and now you\u2019re the prettiest by far. No party she\u2019d not attend\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ronnie found the volume and lowered it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh god,\u201d he held his chest and caught his breath realizing the neighborhood will be aware of his venture. Raising the volume in small increments, the sound still exited the ship traveling into the atmosphere. With a pleasant tune, it survived through the skies, past the firmament, and into space where there is no sound but there is an absorption unbeknownst to man. The music became louder without the help of Ronnie. His face opened. His lips moved back toward his jaws, and he raised his hands to view them blinking in several different bright colors. Ronnie’s molecules stretched abnormally with the rhythm of the beats. The music then corresponded to the shift in hues of color, timing with the changes to Ronnie’s skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cKiss them for me, I may be delayed\u2026\u201d the beautiful voice sang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ronnie\u2019s face expanded. His atoms blended in with the colors as they ran into walls and walls of other colors into a kaleidoscope of music and movement, spanning far distances. His eyes creeped into his head, viewing behind him beloved Siouxsie, also blinking and flashing with the music but growing in size. He feared he faced death at the most inappropriate of times while his imagination of leaving the earth via his theory of space travel needed experimentation took over. With the glorious experience, Ronnie managed to find some delight in listening to the song and how it bounced off the walls inside something he was not sure of. And the way the colors changed with Siouxsie, brought to the fore older movies and newer dreams, better journeys and peaceful escapes. The music ended and Ronnie stood whole, inside something with a now consistent color of a light blue and pink. Siouxsie was gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cHello?\u201d He said. Ronnie started to walk but checked the floor for what he stepped on. He pressed on to it, finding it elastic as it came back without injury with Ronnie\u2019s foot on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            A bellow traveled through the structure, passing Ronnie with the word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAgain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ronnie\u2019s mouth gapped open, his eyes darted back and forth through the big body. He scampered through the insides examining the area, the colors still consistent, staying the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAgain,\u201d a voice said, moaning. Ronnie stopped. His heart rose and panic blindsided him, not expecting anything but either being dead or dreaming. However, this did not have a dream state he was accustomed to or resembled. The reality of it was too unclouded to deny it as something else. He continued to run through the large structure until out of breath. Grabbing his knees he stared at the ground until he was able to have a normal breathing pattern again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He stood up, reaching an end, and gazed at an oval-shaped opening; large enough for a luxury liner to travel through. Space was at the other end, the stars bright and clear. Distant galaxies shined beyond, and Ronnie\u2019s face froze in fright.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAgain,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAgain what?\u201d Ronnie said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cHear it again,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ronnie registered the words and grinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cThe music again. You want to hear the music again?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cYes. Music,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWhere is my ship?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cGo back,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He did, but for hours he walked not finding Siouxsie. He slept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Waking up, he sat up and cleaned off his mouth. He didn\u2019t hope it was a dream. He wanted answers to why he was there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ronnie pivoted his head and there at his right side was his small vessel, now larger. He squinted to be certain of the growth in size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSuse?\u201d he said and stood up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAgain,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlright. Alright,\u201d Ronnie gathered his demeanor knowing he could not change his circumstances for now and laughed at the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Entering the ship, he searched it, noticing the extra room and how his belongings did not take up as much space anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWhat happened?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cAgain,\u201d the voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cPatience,\u201d Ronnie said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He moved to his chair again, sat down, and started the sequence of igniting the vessel into travel mode, but to him, he never did it without music and proper music from better eras; at least for his tastes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The same song played and Ronnie\u2019s face contorted and flickered with the sounds anew. Colors danced in his skin, the wall going through the beats again. Realizing he searched for clarity he was allowed only one more utterance in that galaxy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u201cWait, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“I can\u2019t do this earth thing anymore.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":290,"featured_media":19770,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[244,1298],"tags":[1203,1297,1213,1212],"class_list":["post-18548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-artist-spotlight-2","category-lower-cosmos","tag-forbiddenpanel-2","tag-lowercosmos","tag-sci-fi-2","tag-shortstories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/man-running-out-the-door-into-outer-space.png?fit=2083%2C2500&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1opIU-4Pa","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18538,"url":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/lower-cosmos-mons-pleading\/","url_meta":{"origin":18548,"position":0},"title":"Lower CoSMOS-Mon’s Pleading","author":"John Hartranett","date":"October 26, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know little of the earth, Ronnie Talbert. From what I hear the place crawls with uselessness.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "Artist Spotlight"","block_context":{"text":"Artist Spotlight","link":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/category\/artist-spotlight-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/nate-rayfield-_WR6tUIAJe8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=857%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/nate-rayfield-_WR6tUIAJe8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=857%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/nate-rayfield-_WR6tUIAJe8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=857%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/nate-rayfield-_WR6tUIAJe8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=857%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18459,"url":"https:\/\/forbiddenpanel.com\/PanelCast\/lower-cosmos-mon-day-morning-mon-day-night\/","url_meta":{"origin":18548,"position":1},"title":"Lower CoSMOS: MON-Day morning\/ MON-Day Night","author":"John Hartranett","date":"July 27, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"\"These devils, these demons, who called themselves the Vant...\" \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Vernacular is used to reflect the blue people\u2019s language. 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