If They Could See Me Now

The year: 1988. The place: Crestwood Mall in suburban St. Louis. The scene: crowded, as Saturday afternoon turns into Saturday night. In the crush of humanity, one bold voice stands out. A 14-year-old nerd skips energetically through the throng cackling about how he’s invisible, annoying the holy hell out of everyone within earshot. “I’m invisible! Ha ha! Nobody can see me! I’m invisible!” Only the green-sport-coated figure of a mall security guard can stop this shameless rampage of idiocy.

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